22nd August, 2011

Dear Husband,

This day three years ago, we were still dating. We rode to work that morning together, kissed ourselves goodbye and hoped to ride back home together. I got the call like 4pm saying you needed to use the car to get home fast because Medua was suddenly ill. You said you would come back for me but i thought i should go with you. I remember the ride home, i remember the traffic, i remember the tension and the silent prayers, i remember the "women of faith" song you left playing on repeat. At some point you got out of the car and begged me to pls keep driving down in the traffic while you took a bike home. I obliged you and i prayed everything will be okay.

Im glad you got there on time, you spoke to him, told him how much you loved him and asked him to remember the promise you siblings made to each other when your lovely momma died. We rushed him to the hospital, but he was gone. "Brought in dead" the doctors said and i cried. I cried because he was your sibling. I cried because you hurt. Dear Husband, we lost Medua that day but our confidence lies in the comfort of his being with the Lord. He loved the lord, you know he did and God knows why he took him. I was with you in your grieve and you will never grieve over me or our children. I was with you then and il be with you forever.

Its been three years and i know you miss him. Im saddened by the fact that i didnt get to know him much but i know it is well. On this day Medua, we remember you, continue to rest in the bossom of our lord Jesus christ till we meet to part no more Amen

Bleeding out

It August and this is the month of my restoration. Im a little depressed today, i hate the fact that i get weighed down and sad but im human and im allowed to express myself. I like to discribe myself as a child of the kingdom meaning im untouchable. I know i am and trials and tribulations may come but they would not last. This is the month of August and im sad because i would have been having a baby this month if everything went well. The EDD date was supposed to be 31st August but i had an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured when it was 8 weeks old and i lost both the baby and one of my fallopian tubes and almost lost my life. I thank God he kept me alive for all my real children, the ones im going to have soon and watch grow and i know the plans he has for me are of good and not of evil to bring me to my expected end.

Now that said, i feel better and im hoping for the very best in my near future. Nothing seems to have worked out as planned for me lately but yet again im only human and God knows whats best for me. I do not question him, im ever grateful, i love him and i have chosen to live for him. I just want my rights granted me, total restoration of divine health, life, family and a bright future. I do not want to keep ranting so im taking my leave now.

050811 - So on this beautiful friday, this is what i have to say.

Welcome to the month of August. With the month July (the month of my perfection) gone by, im rest assured God has perfected all that concerns me and im good to go. Moving on, i had started blogging sometime last week using some windows blogger application i just downloaded and guess what, it disappeared without saving. Nothing pisses me off like blogging passionately and losing it so i have respected myself, gotten myself the internet at home so i can go straight to blogger and do my thing while minimizing the risk of losing important data (big big english he he he).

Now that said, i have a Job interview on monday and im freaking out arggghhh! There used to be a time when the thought of Job tests and interviews were a work over for me but i guess with the little bottom rocks i hit recently, im a little scared. The Lord is my strenght and i can do all things through Christ who gives me strenght so im determined to go back to that time when i had faith that moved mountains. Its a law firm (i know right? im wondering myself why a law firm not a big ass oil company) and im interviewing for an oil and gas position (now that partly explains it) and right now more than anything i just want to grow, and work and earn a good constant salary and do all the things i dream of doing and buying all the poshest things in the world and save for my fabulous children and take luxury trips round the world and... just to mention a few (hitting the hammer on the head straight and calling a spade a spade!). The time of my favour is now and im taking a hold of it and thanking the lord for it.

So i did some oil and gas studying today and i learnt a little something about production sharing contracts i would like to share with you. I learnt that two types of profits accrue from the production sharing contracts namely cost oil and profit oil. Cost oil covers the cost of exploration and all incidental expenses incurred while exploraing and refining petroleum products while the latter is whatever remains.The government takes 80% of the profit oil leaving 20% for the oil company (how greedy) but in all, production sharing contracts could be quite profitable for the oil company (usually the majors like Shell, Chevron, Mobil etc) and this arrangement is usually undertaken in a situation where a country has natural resources but does not have the means of exploring and refining the resources themselves (like our good old Nigeria - rolling eyes).

So enough with Educating you, now i look forward to a successful monday and i will be back to tell you the good news. Im also excited because im expecting a new shoe consignment. Yeah, did i mention that i sell fabulous female footwear? I remember now, that was the post i was putting up that disappeared. Okay thats a tale for another day and i promise you its going to be a long long one.

Thank you for reading this post, now its work out time (im getting back on the eliptical bike, i need to fit into a sexy pair of shorts i just purchased and besides, im adding too much weight and thats a no no). Have a great day ahead