A letter to my heartbeat

My darling,

I am writing you this letter just to let you know how awesome you are. You are a wonderful person and i often wonder how you choose to spend your life with me.

I am not that confident person you once reckoned with, i am on a journey of self discovery and i desperately want to find my inner peace. You see, i put up a front constantly and i appear to be an aggressor. On the contrary, i am fighting within my self and i realise i need to find inner peace.

I have asked God to give me more to make our home a happier place and i have had a long thought which made me realise that God is not far from me i just need to address pertinent issues for our lives to go on.

I am meant to be your peace but how can i give what i do not have? Please forgive me for my insecurities for my ingenuity for all i have evolved into these past seven years. I wish i had more to offer health wise and i pray to God to reward you for standing by me.

I truly love you and all that i have done is so we can be happier but how can that be when i am an epitome of depression currently? I want to be the best for you, please help me be the best i can be.

I see myself constantly swaying to the opinions and positions others place me, i am no longer that firm lady with a mind of her own. I have fallen bait to other peoples opinions of me and it is killing me slowly. I do not like this new me, help me back up please.

For every pain i have caused you, i truly apologise. I pray to God that he blesses you with what you truly deserve.

I love you